Greg Awtry

(Editor’s note: York News-Times Publisher Greg Awtry answers comments addressed to him on Tuesday’s editorial page by Senator Bill Avery of Lincoln.)

I am sorry Nebraska Senator Avery thinks it necessary for the state of Nebraska to outlaw certain advertising by food establishments in regards to those prizes kids receive in their meals. Avery obviously believes parents in Nebraska are incapable of making adult decisions regarding their children’s diet.

Senator Avery says in his response, (York News-Times, Tuesday, 1/25/11) “The problem … is not the parents …” But his bill says otherwise. LB126 says, “Parents have limited expertise and resources in marketing and product persuasion compared to highly sophisticated well-funded marketing experts in profit-driven multinational corporations.” What does he mean? I think he offends parents in Nebraska inferring they are too stupid to figure out that advertising is intended to make you want to buy a cheeseburger, therefore, the State of Nebraska, or Senator Avery for sure, intends to protect children from their parents’ “limited experience.”

The parents aren’t stupid. LB 126 is.

The senator also says it would be alright to advertise the toy if it met his standards. For instance, his bill says it is fine to give a toy away if you put it into a meal that: “(a) Does not exceed five hundred calories per packaged child’s meal; (b) Does not exceed ten percent of calories from saturated fat with a maximum of six grams saturated fat; (c) Contains no more than one-half gram artificial trans fat per food or beverage item in the meal; (d) Does not exceed ten percent of calories from added sugars; (e) Does not exceed six hundred forty milligrams of sodium; (f) If it includes a grain, includes at least fifty percent whole grain; and (g) Includes at least one cup of fruits or vegetables, not including fried vegetables.”

How are we going to enforce that? Senator Avery says that no additional government spending is required to enforce it. But his bill does have enforcement mechanisms. He has written into the bill that, “the director (of Agriculture) or his or her designee shall conduct periodic inspections to determine compliance with the act.” Senator Avery, are we to believe these government employees will not be paid when conducting their inspections? Restaurant owners who violate the law can be fined up to $1,000 a day. That money is paid to the state, which in turn is supposed to be returned to the community. Are we to believe that all of this will be done by state employees who are “off the clock?”

So what are we to do when, say, the Super Bowl is on national television and an ad comes on advertising a “Shrek” cup if you buy their cheeseburger meal? Since your bill outlaws television ads such as these, will these ads be blacked-out in Nebraska? Or maybe you should write into your law if something like that happens, the “parents with limited expertise” as you call them, could also be fined if they allow their kids to see the ad.

Stupid, you say? About as stupid as LB 126.

Let’s get to the bottom line, Senator Avery. I’ll agree with you that we have an obesity problem. The problem, though, is not from eating Happy Meal toys. And I can’t believe that you actually believe restricting advertising of these toys will help one child lose one pound. Can you cite examples of where this has worked in other states, where restricting advertising on meal prizes actually reduced childhood obesity?

The reason your bill won’t work is because you are taking government down a path where it doesn’t belong and knows little about. If you were serious about stopping children from eating cheeseburgers and fries, you should ban cheeseburgers and fries, not restrict the advertising. Advertising does not have any calories, salt, sugar, and/or trans fats. If you are so intent on changing children’s diets, then cut to the chase and ban the food you don’t want them to eat.

What’s next on your list, Halloween candy ads? I must be one of those “limited experience” parents your bill mentions because I saw an ad for, and subsequently bought, those bite-sized little Snicker bars to give out on Halloween. Maybe you could have the “Director of Agriculture or one of his or her designees” inspect grocery and drug store adverting too.

Sound ridiculous? Of course it does. So does LB 126.

You also take a shot at those, “highly sophisticated, well-funded marketing experts in profit-driven multinational corporations.” I call that good business. I like profits. Profits keep people employed. Profits are used to pay taxes, which pay you to do your job. Profits are good for this country and this state. Have you taken the time to visit Nebraska’s Department of Economic Development? Ask them where Nebraska would be without “profit-driven” corporations.

Senator Avery, I have looked at your proposed legislation in the 30-plus bills you introduced this session and it is clear you have Nebraskans at heart, voter registration provisions, campaign finance, blind persons’ literacy rights and obviously the budget.

But Senator, on LB 126 you are way out of bounds. Your intention is noble, your solution is nonsense.

Nebraskans are in grave danger.

The state legislature is digging deep into its pockets, and opening up every department and agency to see what can be cut, while trying not to shrink services down to a dangerous level. They are looking for one billion dollars and since the governor has said he is opposed to any new taxes, obviously budget cuts are coming.

I said we must be in grave danger, but it is not budget cuts that have me worried. Our state government has grown faster than the private sector for years so many of the reductions are far overdue. The governor has submitted a budget proposal and he hopes to find about two thirds of the one billion in cuts and about one third from dipping into the state’s piggy bank of reserves. It’s a good plan and will no doubt act as a starting point for some very difficult decisions which must be made by the senators.

Amidst all this pending chaos looms the peril. While we must reduce the size and scope of Nebraska’s government there are two very dangerous situations that must be controlled, for left unchecked, they could have devastating effects on the citizens of our great state. Surely you must be aware of this because two bills have been introduced to eliminate these menaces from our society.

I’m not talking about acid rain or polluted water. I’m not talking about global warming or H1N1 viruses. I’m talking about novelty cigarette lighters and those little toys children get with their fast food meals. Makes you shiver in fear at the very mention of them, doesn’t it? I mean, what horror! No doubt the very thought of these keeps you up at night, as it does me.

If novelty cigarette lighters continue to go unchecked, why they could destroy our state. But what can we do? We are just the little people unable to think for ourselves. Maybe Senator Karpisek can save us! His bill, LB 469 would ban novelty cigarette lighters, and save the state from disaster. He describes these insidious contraptions as any cigarette lighter that resembles: a cartoon character, a toy, a gun, a watch, a musical instrument, a vehicle, animal, food or beverage container. He would make it a crime to sell a novelty cigarette lighter such as these. Also illegal would be lighters that play musical notes, have a flashing light or more than one button!

Oh what a relief. I have been praying someone would save us from lighters that look like Donald Duck. I’m sure you have been extremely worried about this as well. No longer! The good old state of Nebraska to the rescue. If this passes, no longer will we be in danger of being forced to watch someone light an actual cigarette with a lighter that looks like Scooby Doo. Thank you Senator Karpisek, our very survival may depend on you ramming this law down our throats.

But there are still more dangers out there folks, beware! Isn’t it about time big-brother government does something about those tempting kids’ prizes given away by fast food restaurants. Can you imagine the black hole we would spiral into if we don’t get our hands around this looming disaster? Come on, admit it, you know what I’m talking about. You have seen them hidden down there in the bottom of the sacks amid those few French fries that seem to crawl to the bottom of the bag. They range from small plastic toys to plastic mugs promoting an upcoming movie.

Who will save us from this danger? Is it a bird, a plane? No, it’s Super Hero Senator Avery! His bill, LB 126 would make it a crime for a fast food restaurant to engage in such horrible acts. I mean, look at what it’s already done to our great state! If this bill passes, no longer will Nebraska children be exposed to such cruelty. Finally, there is hope. Senator Avery, thank you for accusing Nebraska’s fine parents of being too stupid to overcome a huge corporations’ marketing schemes. Thank you for being our great protector.

Come on senators. Surely we have bigger fish to fry. We are trying to avoid a financial meltdown, trying to keep our schools properly funded, our state highways in good repair, all on less money than we had before. Now, do we really want kiddie meal cops hanging around burger joints trying to catch a dangerous criminal who just gave away a “Shrek” cup? And are we really going to cite grandpa with a Class IV misdemeanor because he wants to light his favorite pipe with a lighter that plays the national anthem?

I may be mistaken, but I thought we were trying to curb the growth of state government, to streamline it, make it function more effectively with less money. I was wrong again. It is a near miracle that Nebraska has made it this far, this long, without your heavy-handed governmental wisdom, which must be necessary to ban instruments of destruction such as these.

At least now, I can go to bed at night knowing you two senators, Karpisek and Avery, are out there trying to protect all Nebraskans from the looming dangers of Spiderman mugs and Harley Davidson lighters.

Saved, saved at last!

The Nebraska Legislative session is under way.

They have to find a way to overcome nearly a billion dollar revenue shortfall, and the governor wants them to do it with no tax increases. Now there’s an idea that is far overdue.

Can they do it? Can they cut a billion dollars out of Nebraska’s budget? They have to. Unlike Washington, where they can spend whatever they want (and they do), Nebraska must balance the budget.

But they better get to work. A quick glance at the bills introduced last week looks a lot like business as usual to me. We have bills or resolutions congratulating a wrestling team for winning the Flatwater Fracas Wrestling Tournament (LR 11) to bills introduced solely for the purpose of defining what a barber pole is (LB 46) for purposes of the Barber Act.

We have a tractor testing bill that increases the horsepower of tractors (LB 91) that must be tested, and another bill that would do away with daylight savings time (LB 101). And several all time favorites, a bill dealing with changes to the motorcycle helmet law (LB 52), and dealing with fluoride treatment of city water LB 36).

There are some important bills out there too. (LB 21) that would change the way Nebraska casts its Electoral College votes, changing us to be more like the other states, even though Nebraska has it right already and the other states have it wrong. The road bill (LB84) is the best roads bill introduced in many years.

But there aren’t many that address the “elephant-in-the-room” issue, the budget. Let’s quit wasting the legislature’s time with all the frivolity, and get down to the real work. I am sure they are and the budget cutting bills will come soon.

I couldn’t help but notice one absolutely insane bill that should never be introduced in a free country. The type of bill that has gotten the entire country in such a financial crisis over the decades and the type of bill that only a person who has lost all faith in Nebraskan’s having any lick of common sense could introduce. It’s (LB126).

Now, you have probably heard about a similar law in some counties in California. Keep in mind what over regulation has done to their state budget, current billions in debt. Senator Bill Avery, from Lincoln, introduced what he calls the Children’s Health and Responsible Corporate Marketing Act (LB 126).

This bill would essentially ban all advertising for those little toys kids get in their kids’ meal at fast food restaurants. Nebraska is facing a fiscal calamity and Senator Avery thinks it is the state’s responsibility to regulate what private businesses give to their customers for shopping with them. His bill basically says that parents are no match for those “highly sophisticated, well-funded marketing experts in profit-driven multinational corporations.” It’s the senator’s way of saying Nebraska parents are too stupid to know what to feed to their children, because the children will force them to take them to a restaurant to eat unhealthy food, just for the prize!

Senator Avery, you can’t be serious! And even if you are, you have to be mad to think the state should regulate what private businesses choose to advertise. It is not the business of the state of Nebraska to determine what a business can’t advertise. For example, “Consumer incentive items” as defined in your bill to be: “…any licensed media character, toy, game, trading card, contest, point accumulation, club membership, admission ticket, token, code or password for digital access, voucher, incentive, or other premium or prize that is associated with a packaged child’s meal served by or acquired from a fast food restaurant, full-service restaurant, food establishment, or convenience store.”

The role of state government needs to be reined in, not expanded, and especially not expanded to the heavy-handed over-regulatory type of bill (LB 126) is. How do you enforce it? Do we hire Kids Meals Cops and pay then to watch TV all day. How do you stop a national TV ad that appears all across the country, advertising their action figures with the purchase of a meal? Your bill even goes so far as to say restaurants can be fined up to a thousand dollars a day.

Senator Avery, yes child obesity is a problem. I guess I would rather put my faith in parents being able to raise their children and say “no” to unhealthy food. Apparently you would rather have the state get involved. I would rather use our limited state resources for roads and education, but I guess you would rather spend more state money on regulating fast food restaurants.

I hope your bill (LB 126) chokes to death on the latest, greatest action figure.